I have been in situations that were rather unfriendly to me and I have been in situations that I realized that a person or persons were uncomfortable. And I have been in many more situations where I did not personally know a sole in the room. I am speaking about situations where you are mostly surrounded by strangers. So, what should you do if you find yourself in this kind of environment? See if you can find someone to strike up some kind of conversation with. If nothing else, talk about the weather, or the food, or your host(s). Keep it very bland and if possible, keep your comments on the positive side. If you get any kind of positive response follow up with some kind of non-commital question to this person as to possibly how this person came to know the host or hostess or business establishment. Or another angle might be to say something complimentary about this person you have just spoken to. Such as to compliment their shoes, or outfit, or tie, or jewelry. Remember, people love to talk about themselves. So try to engage this person in some kind of bland, pleasant, conversation. Never, ever, mention politics or religion. Also, try very hard to not be sarcastic or critical of anything or anybody. This is the groundwork to an immediate turn-off on the part of this person you are trying to talk to. Remember my rule of Eleven? It is that if a person hears ten compliments and one criticism they will only remember the one criticism. First and foremost, be a good listener. Look the person in the eye as they are speaking to you. Pay attention and make comments that show you are paying attention. Try to remember their name by immediately repeating it as in, “Hi, John (or Mary), so nice to meet you”. Also, keep in mind that a person will generally not remember what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive, how many children you have, etc. They will only remember how you made them feel. On the flip side, if they start in about a controversial subject, you should immediately try to redirect the conversation. If this is impossible you should excuse yourself and try again with someone else. Remember, generally, you can be in control. If the situation gets out of control, you should leave ASAP. If drugs or alcohol are involved, you really should leave. It is not a sign of weakness to leave. It is a sign of strength. Personally, I am not and never have been one to engage in drug(s) or alcohol. It was not me being a “saint” as much as I like to be in control of my own conduct. But I am aware this doesn’t work for everyone. Most people like to enjoy a social drink. It is the fact that I have seen way too many “social” drinks turn into something the person or persons truly regret. Remember, you can carry around one “drink” all night and no one will be the wiser. Smile a lot, be friendly, and have fun.
These are just some suggestions and I would love comments. Thanks for listening.
