This topic is not going to be acceptable or pleasant to read across the board. But it’s a topic I, personally, feel very strongly about. The following information is gathered from patients, friends, family members, research and my own personal experiences. I will not reveal any names or sources but believe me everything I have to say on this subject is very personal and real.

I almost don’t know where to start except to say that parents frequently don’t have a clue as to what is going on with their children and don’t seem to know how to protect their children from horrible sexual experiences. Some examples include cases where a very young girl was sexually abused through the years by her brother, her Aunt’s boyfriend, her Grandfather, a total stranger, and far worse, by her own father whom she idolized until he made an inappropriate sexual move toward her. She was able to get away from all of the above before she was actually raped but the encounters left her with lasting unpleasant memories. The experiences caused her to mistrust all males and left her feeling she did not have anyone she could turn to for help or protection. She actually tried to tell her Mom about some of the experiences but immediately found out her Mom just wouldn’t listen and either didn’t believe her or didn’t want to hear such nonsense! She quit trying to get help.

Another sad tale was of a Grandfather who had been sexually abusing his Granddaughter for two years until the child’s Grandmother caught him when the child was five years old. This horror story ended with a divorce as well as a split in other family relationships. Most family members felt that the man should go to prison but others felt that he just needed psychological help. Of course, he never saw his Granddaughter again. The child is grown now and from reports does not have any repercussions from the events. The Grandfather did not rape her but from the research I have done he was “priming” her with many nude encounters which would have most definitely ended with actual penetration. The child evidently benefitted from loving care from her parents and Grandmother as well as psychological help.

Another tale was of a pedophile that lived next door to a lovely family with three girls and two boys. Both parents worked and had a housekeeper/babysitter. The housekeeper was so busy with trying to keep up with household duties that she wasn’t really aware where the older children were at all times. One young (eight years old) girl fell victim to the horrible man next door. He did many sexually oriented types of things to the young girl before she told her parents. She was never raped, thank goodness, but the man again was “priming” her. The parents immediately move away. They sought help from their family Doctor who was very helpful. The young girl is grown now but has had some bad experiences with males. I can’t help but wonder how much the early experience has affected her bad choices of men.

One of my daughters told me a horror story. She said she was sitting at a table of seven friends, seven counting her, when the subject of sex came up. As they were talking it soon became apparent that six of her friends had been sexually assaulted when they were young. Some of the experiences were much worse than others but it shocked her that all six had had such horrible experiences.

I could go on and on with this blog but would just like to end this with some advice for parents. How-to type of advice. Parents should definitely start talking to their children at a very young age to try to establish a bond with their child (children) so that there is never a doubt that the parent(s) has the child’s back. Children need to know that they can tell their parent(s) anything and be believed and supported. There is nothing wrong with starting with the advice of never under any circumstance should the child listen to or get in the car with a stranger. Actually, a parent(s) could act out some example(s) of a case where a stranger could tell a child something where the child felt he/she had to go with the stranger. For instance, that their Mom had been in an accident and that they (the stranger) were sent to take the child to the Hospital. Tell the child to run away immediately, screaming their lungs out for help. Better safe than sorry. Parents should teach a child how to dial 911 as early as 2 or 3 years old and keep reminding them. Tell your child your home address so that they also know this and telephone numbers of family members for safety. Parents should also keep track of where their children are at all times. This is not easy but necessary. Parents, know your neighbors. Find out who is “safe” and who might be questionable. Parents get so busy with their own lives that it is very hard for them to “be there” for their children. Parents also tend to trust the wrong people such as family members and friends and friends of friends such as the boyfriend of a family member. And this leads me to say again, you “must” establish a bond with your child so that they know they can trust you to listen to them and have their back. And that you as a parent are there to protect them. Sexual abuse can happen anywhere. And I am convinced that it can and usually does affect a person for the rest of their life.